In the ‘90s, I became fascinated with the life of my great uncle, a French doctor I never met. I took two trips to France, following his path from where he practiced in the early 1900s, to where he moved after winning highest honors in World War 1, and to where he had to hide on a farm to avoid deportation in 1944. I wrote about the journey in Gifts from a. Spiritual Ancestor. I was fortunate to find French people still around who remembered him fondly when they were children, including the son of the farmer who sheltered him, and a family friend. My visits awakened long dormant but emotional memories of him from over 50 years ago. And it enabled me to connect with the past and preserve the memory of his life before it faded into obscurity.

This provided some resonance when I saw A Real Pain, a buddy within a group movie about the journey of two cousins on a tour group through Poland, visiting somber locations like the Warsaw Ghetto Memorial and a concentration camp. The last day the cousins split off to find their grandmother’s former home in a small town.

The film juxtaposes the cousins as 180 degree opposites. Jesse Eisenberg plays David, the uptight one, neurotic and guarded in a role it feels like he has played a thousand times. Kieran Culkin plays Benji, a free, but deeply troubled spirit, only recently coming off a failed suicide attempt. They join with a group including a recent divorcée (Jennifer Grey), an older couple (Lisa Sadovy and Daniel Oreskes) and a Rwandan convert to Judaism (Kurt Egyiawan), with Will Sharpe as the British (non-Jewish) tour guide. I liked the relationship between the couple – holding hands and affectionate throughout – something you don’t see in screen portrayals of many married couples. Grey is also quite good, seeking some meaning after her recent divorce.

The film’s pattern is for Benji to do something initially cringeworthy, with David being the chief cringee, then winning over the others, who eventually see the fun or truth in Benji’s antics. An early example: At the Warsaw Ghetto Memorial, Benji starts posing with the statues of the heroes, horrifying David and startling the others. But soon, they’re all posing with him, leaving poor David to take the pictures.

The cinematography is quite good, featuring lovely pictures of the Polish countryside. I’ve read that the filmmakers were urged to include these shots to show that Poland is not just the place where the worst of the Holocaust happened. But they also are juxtaposed with those horrors, showing the coexistence of beauty and evil. The Chopin soundtrack serves the same dual purposes.

Eisenberg writes nice little touches, like David’s son’s precocious expertise on tall buildings and the revelation of Benji’s piano playing. But though I liked the film, I’m not as enthusiastic as most critics. Benji’s troubled guy who can see truths others can’t seems a bit too familiar. I do give the film credit for avoiding easy or feel-good resolutions.

Unlike my search for my great uncle, the cousins seek only to visit where their grandmother lived and don’t expect to find any living connection with her life. But they had the advantage of knowing her and she continues to live on in their memories. Either way, it’s gratifying to play even a small role in preserving the lives and legacy of our recent and distant ancestors, and how their experience can inform and enrich our lives.